why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize