he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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