ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
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