I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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