Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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