i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize