can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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