It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
