You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
