Who did Billy Mays play for?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
