420 ftw
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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