no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
