im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
