I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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