Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is