All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
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you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
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I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
and you fell through a lawn chair
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me