keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
