My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Randomize
