I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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