I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
