so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
