do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
