The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
