Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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