And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
