3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
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Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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