do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize