dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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