Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
