i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
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