Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize