The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
