I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
