You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
You smell like stripper and shame
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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