i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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