Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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