I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
