jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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