I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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