I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
