I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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