real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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