THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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