Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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