Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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