Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
my liver is dry heaving
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
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