and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
So much Jack, so little girl.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
