How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
