I could have mohawked her pubes.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Sorry my hands just texted you
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
