I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize