# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
