Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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